[p e a r l y] in an oyster

milo ais is nais

2010-01-08T15:31:00.005+08:00

so this is a new year, just 8 days later. it has been a very long time since this space was last filled up, but since it was for a better reason, it doesn't matter all that much. by default, it is again a very quiet new year celebration. or rather, no celebration at all. i am an old person in many ways, and this time, it is just being lazy over the new year hype. the thought of being stuck in a jam on the roads of kl, is totally unbearable. also being stuck in packets of sardin in a crowd isn't an appealing thought. so i too, have become an old folk by deciding to stay home, trying to sleep before 12 but never fail to be frustrated at the fireworks by midnight. it is an annual thing. annoyed at 12. oh what a feeling.

new years should be great, because everything starts anew. everyone aims to be a better person, to have better habits, lifestyles and er to have new goals? but like i reckon, new year resolutions almost never happen. or rather, it is given up upon the next week after it was set. what irony yeehar.

looking at my resolutions last yr, it looked kinda childish. haha. like swimming twice a week which never happened after the 1st two weeks. but that doesn't mean there's no improvement from the last year. you discover more achievements when your mind is not set upon any. it works more effectively go try it. :) like how i have become a better cook (thanks to all of you who thought that cooking wasn't my thing) and how i indulge myself in doing housewifey things. the joy and glamour! behind closed doors anyway.

i am now 21. yet still remembered how i couldn't differentiate between a degree and a diploma when i was 14. and why do they always have assignments. and why do they look so serious and intimidating. and how nice it is to have the freedom in driving around. and how they look smart and studious too. but now, i am all that of the above. what i wrote under 'my ambitions' section in school? it wrote police woman, fire fighter and something aggresive i'm sure. but never a teacher or doctor. that was the standard answer that time which i found lame. hahaha. then, after discovering the con job of civil engineers' spelling, i diverted to the greener path.

as a new year begins, are you ready to rediscover yourself? like how i struggle to keep up with all my whims and fancies and odd habits. and high maintenance issues. to tell you frankly, i think i am quite a nuisance. myindexfingerissacreddon'ttouchit. but i believe that our lives are definitely lived with more aims than a dog who just lies around at home. :)

and i love singapore! i shall consider living here forever.

singapore is like malaysia's dream, which will only happen in 2020 (or maybe not).

cheers. :o

seasells and swings

2009-12-05T01:23:00.002+08:00

this is how speechless i am.

amendment

2009-11-02T07:33:00.002+08:00

like any other posts, i know i won't have the courage to speak forth whatever i intended to say at this point.

so what happens when your fairy tale dream is crushed? is there a plan b to fall back on? in a narrow perspective, things are complicated when we do not wish to see it in a simple view, as this is one sense, named self denial.

perhaps i am fond of the idea of acting and thinking in the past because back then, every single flaw in life is perfectly covered by the grace of God. but what happens if there is no memory left of the past?

there is no present to go into because everything seems new and not welcoming. furthermore there is no future in your eyes, because knowing that somehow, days ahead of you aren't rly promising after all.

so when life pushes you in the gap between the past and the present, how best could your solution be? to continue living in the void, confused in choosing between the two which seems quite redundant after all or just let emotions reign in its utmost shape?

well, simply because we do not know what would broken hearts become of.

brinjal=aubergine

2009-10-25T05:40:00.004+08:00

i was never a believer of umbrellas as some of you would know. if God were to pour rain, why avoid it?

so, i used to enjoy the rainy days back in malaysia. not just for the fact that its chilling. but because you know what it means to sit at home, sip a cup of coffee and reflect on the rain drops.

here, rain is the mother nature alarm clock. when it's gloomy instead of sunny, you know its time to wake up. and you live in a perpetual denial that the clock is right ,by default. over here, rain is not an excuse to stay home.

today's rain cum wind reminded me of a story told to a friend. literally, i felt the same way. the wind was blowing me apart. best part? the umbrella flipped. an inevitable experience in the uk. what a funny sight to look at and a good laughing stock too. but not too enjoyable to experience.

so, what do you do? you shut the umbrella and continue walking. or if you prefer, walk where the wind blows you to.

but by the grace of god

2009-10-14T06:26:00.004+08:00

you know you're not home when...

-there's no food placed on the table every meal.
-grocery shopping is always on the top of your to do list.
-there's no home to be in. just a room to yourself.
-you're deprived of tv.
-its quiet all around you.
-thinking about what to cook is such a hassle.
-there are less chores to do.
-there's so much time to spend on yourself.
-the laptop is your newly adopted 'relative'.
-you run out of eggs. or rice.
-leisure time means time to wash those clothes.
-you walk everywhere. be it 5 mins or 1 hour. you just have to continue walking.
-people go 'huh' when you mention 'lah'. shame on them.
-you are desperate for maggi mee and milo when its not there.
-the best thing to do is ponder at pictures of friends. because that's the closest you can get.
-you get fire alarm drills at 7.30 in the morning.
-you think of family and friends while shopping. you wish they'll have fun too.
-you do not have a bolster.

cardiff is pretty, cold and unpredictable weather-wise. currently living in a female hall, thus no late night drunk and puke situations. broke the no pork and beef commitment once. classes are not crazy, but work is. cooking is such a chore when you don't have everything in the chinese world. skin is dry, so i will return looking like an old lady. cookies save my life. i stock up on them. :) orange juice is my medicine at all times, it keeps sicknesses away (or am i strong?). my legs will soon turn into iron legs because of the rapid walking. walking is jogging. :)

my wrist and waist is one hole on the buckle smaller now. i reaped what i (have to) sow. gahahaha. :)

and say hello to comforting shoes. :)

okay love you all. ta. :)

with your love

2009-09-20T16:14:00.004+08:00

so here i am sitting by the windows, trying to remember home and all its goodness.

you never know how much you have until you lose it. this saying is true. while the family is having fun having friends over and having good food, all you want is just to be there for the moment to enjoy the warmth of their presence. sigh.

so, cardiff isn't as much as what i expected. it is pretty small and the city is nowhere near our golden triangle. it is quiet and cold. wind is pretty strong at times. and night is simply freezing that you can't even walk in slippers.

but besides the weather and food, everything is fine here. its hard to settle in though. now, it just feels like i'm on a holiday. hahaha. and the place here is clean!

okay shall update some other time. gotta go. :) ta malaysians. loves.

and behind me is cardiff university. :) will upload more photos in fb soon.

miss you all.

like the sun

2009-09-15T23:45:00.004+08:00

i feel like a celebrity.
(minus the body shape and height)

sigh. i've never felt so wanted before in my life. i've got presents, cards, letters, messages, tonnes of gatherings and hugs that i've never even received on any of my bdays. perhaps because you only leave once but bdays are celebrated once a year.

they ask me if i'm sad. honestly, the thought of leaving my friends and family behind leaves the 'keberatan hati' in me. but when i think about my luggage, oh what a killsorrow.

i'm going crazy. who knew leaving would be so tough? having to compress a room into a luggage bag? and tell me how is that even possible. i've zipped my luggage ten times. just because i am reminded that there's another 'essential' to bring. SIGH. oh i brought 3 cookbooks and mixes and pastes. because they know i wouldn't survive cooking myself. :(

so now cardiff is 16-18 degrees. i don't even know how cold or warm is that. i just know that i've 5 kg of jackets, cardigans, windbreakers, winter jackets etc. and i am shipping more maggi mees and milo! teehee.

panic! in the house.

okay i'm blabbering. gotta go download more movies before i don't get the chance to.

till cardiff. :)

it's fun to stay at the ymca

2009-09-08T23:39:00.003+08:00

when i appear offline in msn, they say i'm anti-social.
when i appear online in msn, they are anti-social.

wokaaaay. so this week has been food-ful so far. i must say, i love the:
-dumplings that grandma cooked.
-roasted chicken wing from happy garden.
-luscious porridge that mum is famous for.
-konyaku jelly which mum makes.
-satay from kesas highway.
-coconut drink, chinese prawns, all kinds of sushi, cheesy crab, chocolate fondue, desserts,
oyster, chili crab dan lain-lain from tenji. (thanks to paul, ryan, kien, daniel, sasa and
terence who brought me there. and terence's demanding skills blown me off.)
-chicken pie from mv.
-black noodles from ying jia.
-prawn wanton noodles in canton-i.
-crabstick sushi from sakae sushi.
-curry chicken from grandma.

i need MORE food to satisfy the cravings that i will get for a year. now i would love some balinese food. yum yum.

okay i forgive you chien su-ann. but sat night is a must. no grounds for negotiation at all.

staring at the moon so blue

2009-09-03T22:47:00.003+08:00

14 days feels very unreal.

just 14 days left to a new chapter which is yet to be discovered. most of me does not want to leave. not because of family friends lovers pet and whatnot. i would say, the most dreadful abt leaving is the looooooooong wait.

wasted 1/3 of the year waiting, and more waiting. you know, time, like how its functioned to be, cools down the tense, passion, anticipation and desire. so yes, it successfully killed the hype in me. though i constantly know, that i am truly blessed being able to further studies. i won't and never deny God's grace in my life.

He has never let me fall from riding bicycles (both 2 and 4 wheels). or being forced to stay in the hospital for a particular sickness. or gone through an operation. or left me hurt by a failed relationship. or made me born w any deformities. or given me friends who back stab and betray. or insufficient food. or allowing me to grow up in a pile of mud. or protecting me from car accidents. or made me kill myself and other people. or being robbed.

i know i am truly blessed. in fact, giving thanks every minute is not even near sufficiency.

by the way, treat me nice. :) you'll be dying to serve my ocd whim and fancies when i'm abroad, i bet.

no one will tell you when your hair gets stuck in your food.no one will wipe your cutleries for you. no one will tell you to wash your hands every minute. no one to provide you hand sanitizer.

live with it okay. :p

p/s: i had an urge to walk into bimba & lola today and tell the salesman that its actually named bimbo & lala. i so should do that. :(

let me let go

2009-08-31T23:16:00.003+08:00

back on home grounds. my tanah air. :)

oh and happy merdeka!

rly, i cannot even express to you how much my toilet means to me. and i think my metabolism rate served me well these years. been eating 5 meals a day and i only gained 0.5 kg. singapore food rocks. :)

i want you to want me

2009-08-28T11:42:00.004+08:00

current location: singapore.

exclusion clause: call or message at your own expense.

:) i loveeeee shopping and i think i can survive pretty well in singapore.

whoala.

let's just kiss and say goodbye

2009-08-26T16:24:00.005+08:00

i am overwhelmed.

by how much time i have left in malaysia.
by how many bdays parties i've been since the past 2 months.
by the constrain of time.
by taking 2 vaccinations in a 3 days period.
by PICTURES! that i dunno how to sort them out.
by having so many editions of my beloved diner dash. thanks to kelly. :)
by the new friends i make almost everyday.
by the mrt system in singapore. ours are better, planning wise.
by the hectic schedule.

but i am still having funnnn. :)

merry 21st eu jin and kelly!! :)

heart you two.

shining above you

2009-08-17T22:48:00.007+08:00

one month to...

not so dry toilets. millions of new faces. new but smaller room. four seasons. the cold. independence. prettier skin. living w strangers. third year. new church. loneliness. owning thousand pairs of socks. skype-ing everyday. diy home cooking. new languages. tonnes of laughter. angmoh boys. longer hair (sigh). more walking. no more driving. more blogging. hard core cleanliness. studying harder and smarter. more worries. intensive computer games. choir. learning musical instruments (hopefully). regular shoooopping. fun. taking good care. non-parental governance. scenaries. sight seeing. fresh air. colder nights. non-existence of mosquitoes. tears of separation. singing alone sessions. societies. outdoor activities. different cultures. missing my besties. more chances. higher heights. new aims.

sigh.

simply the best

2009-08-17T01:20:00.004+08:00

you want to buy a new suit or dress for the occasion. because, they saw you in the previous shirt/blouse/dress/pants/skirt last chinese new year.

you make sure you wear a different pair of shoes this time you visit them during christmas, just so they know you've more than a pair of shoes.

you talk to them like as if you know alot, basically every single political news you overheard in a coffee shop.

all just to hear your relatives saying, "hey boy! big boy dy ah. so tall and smart now." or, "girl girl, much prettier ah as you grow."

we grin, though we know it is not exactly the truth. they just do not have better compliments because they don't know us well enough. but deep down, we take a little pride on those compliments.

then, our parents, being as straightforward as they are, cuts in and utters, "no lah your son taller. my boy not so smart also wan. everyday play comp games only."

and you go, grrr.

my theories:

number 1: they think we've grown so much because they stopped growing a long time ago.

number 2: these words please their siblings, so why not? plus the more they talk good abt their siblings' kids, they get good compliments for their kids too. they are proud to hear pleasant praises.

number 3: besides your height and the pretty face, they have no other topics to talk abt.

here you go, relatives you see once or twice annually. but, should anything fail, still be nice. :)

we had a primary school gathering today. it is rly not easy organizing one i tell you. perhaps a wedding or funeral would bring ALL of us together.

a primary school friend said i was tall! i'm remembering this forever yo.

1300-prevent-h1n1

2009-08-13T15:52:00.005+08:00

this means: wash your hands NOW and stay away from the sick. :)

anyways, just a few prevention tips (that i received from my mum and aunt who sent me 5-6 h1n1 related mails):
-avoid consuming acid food, drinks and fruits (eg mango)
-better to eat dragon fruit, sweet apples, honey lemon, watermelon, pears, bananas, cucumber, onions and pumpkins
-if infected, one should bathe 3 or 4 times a day in cool tap water (hot water is bad)
-once infected, one should eat rice or rice-based food
-avoid chicken, soybean, high protein diet, oily food, wheat products

*important: all the above should not be continued forever, but only for about a month or so, until the hot season changes. after that, you should eat all things in moderation.

*disclaimer*

:) take care.

nobody knows it

2009-08-12T12:32:00.002+08:00

i think the free mosquito spa last night took my flu away.

well, be positive. mosquitoes in exchange for a doctor visit is very worth it. :)

condemning?

2009-07-29T15:23:00.005+08:00

a school bus from japan, being equipped with computer and air con, it is guaranteed to keep you comfortable and entertained.

.................................................................................................................................

whereas this is found in pakistan, with added smiles.

the next time before you complain of our buses and how much inconvenience it causes, think again.

numb

2009-07-28T20:36:00.011+08:00

two days ago, on a lazy sunday evening, i was as usual, tired and wandering the house thinking who can best entertain me. suddenly, i heard my mum's hearty laughter and sis' laughter, which er sounded like mine. i was curious by then. but when i heard "why papa don't wear like that wan" i immediately jumped out of my seat.

emoticon of mine would be =.=" so i sat down and was prepared to feel *fillintheblanks* by the show.

The Mr. Hong Kong Contest , or MRHK for short, is a beauty contest for young men, organized by leading Hong Kong television station TVB. The contest has been an annual event since 2005, and winners will have the opportunity to represent Hong Kong for the Mister World contest.

there were about 10 contestants, divided into junior and senior groups. most of them were muscular, some were tall, few were charming, little were lack of attention, but no one caught my attention. ahemm. then they proceeded to different rounds of performances, like talent performing, the swimming suit parade and the quizzes session.

before the swimming suit parade started, the emcees started interviewing several hong kong actresses. it went something like this:

interviewer: so what is your most favourite part of the show?
actress: the swimming suite parade of course!! you get to see their muscles in full display. and oh! when water run down their bodies. so hot!!!!!! (they actually touched some real muscles and giggled to themselves. oh women)

*shakeshead* but the others agreed with her too. not just them, but taiwan actresses came to show their support too. for the fact that they wanted to see hong kong guys were, and admitted that they were different. hmmm.

so the show started. and my, i really wouldn't and couldn't, by the end of my life, be as stylish and professional as them. and i thought i was a girl. mehhhh. okay anyways, there was a fountain of water whenever they walk on the stage and *splash* they were all wet and slimmy.

this is the bom. they took off their shirts, run water over their bodies, and just before walking out of the fountain with just their trunks on, some just had to do this.

like your average shampoo advertisement, they flung their hair!! running their fingers through their wet hair and flinging the water off their heads, acting hot and sissy. my goodness. i couldn't agree more with them but laugh out loud. hahahahahahahahahahaha. it looks smt like this:

imagine a guy version of this.

i nearly fainted of eye sore. besides a whole mouthful of laughter, i was speechless. some of them tried so hard to impress the 600-800 women viewers in the house, but ended up getting 4 votes only. pathetic attempt.

instantly, i told my mum that if my son were to participate in such competitions or alike, i would smack him up down right left centre. simply because in my opinion, it is such a disgrace as to the display.

and so number 7 won. the crowd loved him.

on the left: 2009 winner, on the right: former 2005 contestant

if you are interested in joining the show, all you need is alot of girl supporters, a cute look, dimples, a few sweet words and then you're a winner! :)

oo and this arrived yesterday morning. yay. :) dhl malaysia named me pearley on their list. ooh and i know this courier joke.

dhl: dua hair lewat (in fact tiga, for me).
ups: you pun sama!!

flights and luggage, checked. next thing is to get my visa done this friday then i can sleep non-mummy-nagging nights. sigh everyday, i try to convince myself that i won't be hearing these naggings anymore at least for another year and i should appreciate it. well this is what my mum tells me all the time.

iamstilltryingmybest.

boredboredbored

2009-07-22T22:27:00.005+08:00

the world, once you step out of the house, is strangely ridiculous. while there are some people who would spend most of their time and fortune in building a strong empire for their career or marriage, while others, have better ideas to go by.

the longer you live, you will realize that the friends who have been with you since day one till now are very much similar to you. you share the same goals, aims, expectations, principles, stands or er, perfume. okay. this is the circle of friends i have (cut the perfume). they are smart, competitive, noisy, forward-looking, future-minded, kind and understanding. while the other circle that i never see much logic in is the i-had-10,000-boyfriends, i-am-on-a-diet-yesterday-today-and-forever, self-centered, short sighted and those who survive on clubbing kind.

mm.

so i stumbled upon a particular forum site, and went into the girls section. my goodness. i never asked myself those questions before, honestly. boy was i amazed.

topics like: 1. will you answer your bf's call when he made you angry? 2. ideal female height. 3. how to prevent from sleeping in the office. 4. fair or tan skin better? 5. when dating, how far would your bf pay for you.

num 1: er. if you wld wanna wait for a few yrs for ppl to answer your question, most probably your bf won't call you.

num 2: i am ideal. and what you gonna do abt it?

num 3: sleep earlier in the night? or simply don't work.

num 4: people will usually admire fair girls. but tan skin is actually healthier. so?

num 5: pay for yourself lah. very frankly, i am against the guy paying for everything. that only happens in marriage.

i have no idea at all what our girls have turned into. i think i no longer fit into the female category, that way. things like these, i couldn't express further how irritated i feel. this is in malay, kebodohan. bottomline: POINTLESS.

gahhh.

it is as simple as this: as a student, would you prefer taking 9 months in completing the last year of your degree or would you rather get pregnant? fulfillment much?

and i am still angry at that old man who swerved his car into me without looking!

our days are no longer bright and promising.

malaysia truly asia

2009-07-16T16:26:00.005+08:00

Hi Pearly,

I've checked your record and your application has gone Unconditional. Congratulations! This only happened yesterday so we will be sending you a VISA letter shortly.

good good good good news.

i bought a gigantic luggage bag which can fit me in. woohoo. check me in.

we all know that msia's governmental services are not really prompt and they take their own sweet time to get something done. but hello? an english 1119 cert which takes 3 yrs to process? if it is made out of gold, i understand. ugh totally unreasonable.

malaysia is boleh.

fix you

2009-07-09T00:58:00.007+08:00

for a night so calming, i am not found in peace.

anger 1:
being nice and helpful has its limits. you can be all kind to whoever persons that cross your path. but to be truly sincere to people who take advantage of you, it is nearing the impossibility mark. perhaps, saying yes all the time isn't as rewarding after all. but maybe, consider this, you and i have the same pair of hands. mine ain't longer than yours.

anger 2:
i hv a strong urge to tell him right off. but unfortunately, i am hesitant. they say, what you are as a kid determines what you will be as an adult. how true. he who annoyed me and the whole class back in primary school still is highly annoying and childish now. i wished i am more fb prone.

anger 3:
there are people who make ridiculous requests and expect me to flow with it. am i supearly?

frustration 4:
things are getting more tedious in procedures. the wait, unexpectancy and fear kills my joy in going to uk.

anger 5:
i seriously warn you to watch your attitude. i won't be bullied. i may be nice, but don't ever push it. i is no maid.

dear you(s), please behave. and, act as a 20 yr old! it is not a playful and foolish age to be in.

i can need some shopping therapy.

when smiling is not permissive :(

2009-07-07T20:21:00.007+08:00

it is a joy being able to live. it is much more a joy being able to live young, at age and at heart. life, as you know it, is a journey of unpredictability.

be thankful today, tomorrow and forever.

note for visa: photographs must be taken with a natural expression with the mouth closed (no grinning, frowning, or raised eyebrows).

but i just smiled in the photo!!!!!!!!!!!!

a therapy

2009-07-01T22:02:00.014+08:00

every week, i concentrate in doing one thing. this week, i've accomplished some. well, i found out the whereabouts of my primary schoolmates. and knew about their life a lil more. i am a stalker.

so since i've been reminiscing about the old days, i took out some old photos just for the fun of it. i loved looking a kid. because everyone looks cute and innocent. but this look of mine now just wouldn't reflect my innocence. sigh.

so i dug up a few pics. and i couldn't resist not posting them up. because this is how unoccupied i am. nyeheh. have a good guess. :)

i was cuter then. :( and my eyes used to be O.O.
now it is like o.o.

sads.

lalalalalala.

good to go

2009-06-29T16:59:00.003+08:00

there's a choice between surrendering or striving.

at all times, the former is more tempting.

a day or so

2009-06-23T17:10:00.004+08:00

holla. its a melting hot afternoon again where i just came back from an interview with cheang & ariff and brickfields asia college.

i bring news.

experts say that when you look or think about a certain person or thing for 5 minutes before sleep, it is most likely that that person or thing will appear in your dreams. for these 2 weeks, i found a new hobby, that is, to calculate my exam marks. it is fun to do okay. because as skeptical as you might consider, i come up with different calculations everyday. most of the time, i end up in sorrow.

so, the main point. yesterday, i dreamt a dream that could never be more stressful and nerve-wrecking. i woke up from sleep because i wanted to text all my mates that results are coming out tomorrow. i thought blahhh, its just a dream.

but the story had to have a perfect ending. i went to bac to certify my certs today, where i met mr william. ahhh how i longed to see him. okay anyway, i bring news.

RESULTS ARE OFFICIALLY OUT TOMORROW.
(where this time, they will hand out envolopes with our transcripts. and if you fail, the resitters' timetable attached)

purpose is, you can take your results and flood your tears elsewhere. well like in disneyland, dreams come true.

perhaps danielle is a fortune/future teller, where she could set the precise date where results and karaoke clash.
what unexplainable skills you have, danielle. :)

prolonged stress

2009-06-22T23:05:00.004+08:00

i hate waking up in the morning.

my heart pounds faster as i try to turn on my phone. i prefer peeping at my phone when it's turned on than to face the full blast reality scene. on one hand, i am waiting to feel the vibration, because that indicates that my inbox is flooded. but also, this is when good or bad news come. you either get words of congratulations!! or i'm sorry you didn't get in.

this anticipation is killing me already. mr william, when are you gonna msg us?

i hate waking up in the morning.

voice out!

2009-06-19T15:28:00.006+08:00

friends who know me are in no doubt that i voice out my opinions alot. good or bad, they are most probably valid. because an opinion is a personal view, my privilege. :) so as i was browing through my inbox, i discovered a mail sent by nuffnang regarding the subject of 'Voice Out to Malaysia'. i though hey, since i am the most unoccupied person on earth due to long pleasant holidays, i should be a part of this cause.

it is saddening that although we are not deemed the right to freedom of speech like in the united states, we still have a slight gap between voicing out the truth and making it sound offensive in this beloved country, our tanah air, malaysia. so, since we are not a privileged as them, why not express ourselves in a different manner? afterall, we have our rights, people.

this is when 'action speak louder than words' steps in.

if you opined that non-smoking areas should be enforced by officials, public toilets should not have any fee charges, smokers should not do their thing when they drive, 'road gangsters' should not disrupt the peace of highways, more facilities for the disabled should be set up and utilized or whatever your largest concern is from the deepest of your lungs, do not be afraid to stand up and express it!

it is fairly simple to do so. just snap a mms about your concerns in the most creative way and send it to 016-6029788. on top of that, you're in a run for attractive prizes as well. :)

so why not be a responsible malaysian and care for our country in the least of our capacity today. how much have you got to lose anyway?

people, have a heart. <3

so what.

2009-06-18T01:09:00.005+08:00

these are like the days of pre-kindergarten. where i can spend time at home, shake leg, enjoy the tv, annoy people and eat few ice creams a day.

i am still kept deeply in the memory of my pencil case. for wherever you may be now, rest in peace. and be rest assured that i am with you, always. there is nothing even for a decent burial.

i am looking forward to......

nothing.

a total lack of inspiration to blog. sigh. midnight has its way in me.

i am prejudicial towards bak kut teh and its not a sin.

i heart flats

2009-06-16T23:13:00.005+08:00

if there is one thing i cannot conquer even till death, it would be the art of parking.

truimphant?

2009-06-16T16:31:00.003+08:00

i can't wait for exam results too, sarah.

and i don't feel good about it at all.

boo.

hakuna matata

2009-06-15T00:50:00.008+08:00

i need an attachment or internship in a law firm.

someone? anyone?

fact 1: my dad believes that i can grow taller. he is concerned and wants me to take those herbal soups.

fact 2: my mum asked me the other day whether my height is the maximum. but she is convinced that it is.

fact 3: my grandma has more faith than them. she believes that as long as i haven't give birth, i can still grow.

fact 4: my sister thinks that i am already taller than my dad.

this is my lovely family who shows such great faith in different perspectives.

__________________

woaalaaaaa.

having a 4 months holiday is a guilty measure of freedom which doesn't involve any justification to it, nor 4 months of hard work. i told you i live by the rewards system.

it is haunting me.

_____________

oh and school starts today! i am glad for you, you and you. :)

there are basically two primary achievements in my life that i appreciate on a daily basis.
getting out of school and passing my driving test.

with that, i fear no others.

unsure or closure?

2009-06-12T17:01:00.007+08:00

as if the assignments marks weren't impactful, the more dreadful news had to come in. it was horrendous when i first heard it. then er, i sorta forgot about it. which is good to shake off that thought whilst having holidays.

today, as i was settling down from the big hoohah i was reminded of it. these few days were plans that are being made in consideration of THAT university. everything was inquired, prepared for and well rehearsed. but one thing was missing despite the sudden implant of confidence.

what if i don't achieve that 60% average?

my mum just knew how to kick me back to reality, in a really harsh and non-reserving way. i didn't know how to answer, obviously. for such a question which didn't require any research, my ideas are not with me. then i recalled, that there can be such a possibility. as when we meet up with mr. william that day for lunch, he calmly told us that 30% of the 100 odd students failed the tort paper. mind you, the paper weren't all marked at that stage.

i stoned like a pillar of salt, ready to be blown away. the next thing you know is, ppl will tell you that such nonsense won't hit 'hardworking' students like us. er, but fat chance still. so, that was the horrific news which actually, should just urge us to pray more often and believe in the Almighty. i am not freaking out or organizing a 'mourn for law students' party or anything. no i'm not and never will.

i is cool.

usually, it should not happen to a normal human being. but even as we mature and become grown ups, i guess our reactions and emotions should take us to another level as well. when we're a kid, we might be able to get away with scoldings or pulling teeth by crying our lungs out. its called sympathy, i believe.

but even as we grow and take up heavier and more burdensome responsibilities, if we are to freak and complain and cry over milk which are not spilled yet, then how different are you from a 3 year old?

yes i comfort myself this way. definition of faith? faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.

do you have faith today?

Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.
-psalm 55:22-

O
(l)

\/\/

jump for joy today! :)

bhalalahualala honda civic

2009-06-11T14:37:00.006+08:00

i guess planning for studies in uk can well overtake the excitement of planning a wedding.

it is not much difference. because in any of the situations, my mum will be printing details and highlighting them. and did i say, loads of planning and *screams* DETAILS!!!

it is such a thrill i tell you. and i'm loving it.

case closed.

oh and school of servanthood was such a blast! not the aching and sleeping condition itself, but the word that was spoken. for a person who suffers from short term memory loss, it was actually memorable.

find a need, meet a need.

thank you Lord.

31st

2009-06-01T00:21:00.002+08:00

why can i remember that it is baskin robbins day in the afternoon but not at night???!!!!!

gahhhhhhhhhhh. mad.

just arrived

2009-05-28T12:13:00.033+08:00

see. i told you may is a birthday spree month. this is only part 1 at kiki zakura in mid valley. :)

by misunderstanding, ling yok actually bought a small cake for margaret and we bought 20 donuts for yok and margaret, the birthday girls. my goodness. but the guys appreciated it, i think. hee.

so this is birthday girl number one who turned 20 on the 22nd may. she is short, bubbly and smart. don't mess around with her. but she is still short. :D her terms are rather unique. she uses words like sfp and what the love. sometimes, she is a nuisance. but most of the time, she is cheeky. apparently she likes teal now instead of pink.

lee ling yok

this is birthday girl number two who turned 20 on the 26th may. she told ppl that her birthday was on a 25th because she thought so. what a major blur case. this is an aftermath of uol llb exams. she's the only schoolmate who went to the same uni with me, doing law as well. don't get fooled by her looks. she occasionally bites.

margaret lau

er. this is tc, the tumpang birthday boy.

choy ling (who was my primary and high school mate), yok, margaret and tc

okay i wanna tell you something very hilarious. shyh-yih and i went to art friend to buy some really long and ever lasting candles. just for fun. with these kinda candles, you don't need to worry abt taking pictures before the candles melt.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

scene 1: they bersama-sama blowing the candles out. it was tough job because there were 20 LONG candles.

scene 2: yok pushing every single breathe in her to put it out. oh it was breathtaking.

scene 3: while yok is still trying her very best, margaret has won the candle blowing competition. look at ther face! little did she know there was one more candle left.

_____________________________________________________________________________________

they look fabolous kan? i love candles. and i suspect they are magic candles. because they were very stubborn. and it has sparks on them when we lighted it! so beautiful. but the ashes fell on the donut. eee.

this is yew shyh-yih, my crap companion. and the other younger twin. a future software engineer! though most of the time i dunno what she's talking about.

margaret with the durian donut.

it was a friendly match. although yok lost. gahahaha.

and this is tan yeh sheong. 'isetan' is he.

this was my dessert. red bean with melon something. pardon me, i don't read japanese.

this is cheah choy ling. have known her for 12 years i think. she was the reason why i was in taman desa instead of lousy desa perdana. she will be our accountant when we open a hotel.

and mr. fong tim ci here, will be the clown.

it means she's lame.

why do i have so many pictures of her? because she was opposite me. not because of any other factors you think it to be.

and this is jonathan ng. who plays very good music. but is exceptionally blur also.

this is a shot taken by the waitress who pointed the camera lense to herself before i told her how to snap a picture.

otherwise, we had fun, the unsangkarable way. :)

p/s 1: big apple donuts' waitresses were such noobs! gah. i simply can't understand them and their ways.

p/s 2: i had a silly wish come true. frankly, i told myself that i wanna run on the escalator the opposite way one fine day. and i did it! so fun. but save me from embarrassment please. :( that is considered one week's exercise. yay.

may is a birthdayful month

2009-05-26T20:07:00.006+08:00

say bye to the above!

simply because i made it pass year two and looking forward to year three. :)

today and the next 3 months, i breathe the breath of temporary freedom and sigh a huge appreciation of relief. from hating land law to it being my 2nd favourite subject, unexpected things happen. even for the first year.

well well. i wanted to do an internship during this 3 months break. mind you, these 3 months is the longest holiday i ever had since becoming a student. but, mummy prefer me to really take a break and ENJOY these 3 months. so how? i can only be obedient. :D

although i am halfway there in reaching my goal, but having a goal and continuing with it is much better than having none at all. because i believe in rewards system, so i am desperately wanting to do several things on the occasion.

1. search for my pencil case until end of june. if not, i will hunt for all my pens again. ugh my stabilo pens.
2. watch all movies possibly. now, you can prove themselves useful here.
3. shopping.
4. shopping.
5. shopping.
6. shopping.
7. learn how to park a car decently.
8. visit my aunt in singapore.
9. sleepovers!
10. plan for third year.
11. learn how to cook and bake and cut my hair. no, not all at the same time.
10. and lastly, pack my luggage. that is, knowing where am i going to specifically.

so you see. i am really busy. like really really busy spending my time in the above manners. nyheh.

if you like me enough, you can fulfill 3 4 5 6 with me. don't worry. i won't waste your time.

despite exams which were such nightmares, eh wait. i had a sweetdream too. i dreamt that i got 86 marks for 2 of my papers. try to beat that dream. hohoho. okay despite exams, i still had time to have fun. i is not nerdy. :)

you know. blogger is also taking its own 3 months to load my pictures. i will get them up soon okay.

i will be back, soon enough. :)

wait. what section are you charged under? which offence again? you should ask the girl next door. :)

where art thou

2009-05-20T14:34:00.002+08:00

i am here to report about the lost of my pencil box.

it is black in colour, without any patterns, and has an orange cross key chain attached to it.

so if any of you see it, please grab it first okay.

sigh thank you.

and i rly do need my pencil box.

abalone!

2009-05-19T15:39:00.011+08:00

i think i ought to post this up. because trust is finally OVER. and to embarrass you if you're such a meanie.

One afternoon a wealthy lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw two men along the roadside eating grass. Disturbed, he ordered his driver to stop and he got out to investigate. He asked one man 'Why are you eating grass?'
'We don't have any money for food,' the poor man replied 'We have to eat grass.'
'Well, then, you can come with me to my house and I'll feed you', the lawyer said.
'But sir, I have a wife and two children with me. They are over there, under that tree'.
'Bring them along,' the lawyer replied.
Turning to the other poor man he stated, 'You come with us also.'
The second man, in a pitiful voice then said, 'But sir, I also have a wife and SIX children with me!'
'Bring them all, as well,' the lawyer answered.
They all entered the car, which was no easy task, even for a car as large as the limousine was.
Once underway, one of the poor fellows turned to the lawyer and said, 'Sir, you are too kind. Thank you for taking all of us with you.'
The lawyer replied, 'Glad to do it. You'll really love my place; the grass is almost 1 metre high!'

because you see, there are always bad or humiliating jokes about lawyers. so i am speaking on behalf of the 9 out of 10 that are lawyers if you click on whichever one on my friends list on the right.

but when you're in trouble, who do you find? your mother or the lawyer?

see. and feel guilty.

hey trust is over and done with. by faith, i'll keep all my trust notes and books away. crossing my fingers that i won't hv to sit for it again. we won't.

i think i have this imaginary screw driver with me whenever i sit for exams. because i tend to screw up, most of the times. careless am i since 5, and still i am careless at 20.

i reckon we shouldn't make professionals out of test and exams and assignments. maybe we should be based on practical work. i would be the 1st one to say i do.

i realized right, everytime when i hv a paper, one or two things go very wrong.

for example:

1st day of tort: i forgot my bottle (and then forget to take back my newly bought bottle from the exam hall again). my 3 newly bought pens were dysfunctional. how i struggled and not breakdown instead.

2nd day of evidence: my liquid paper leaked. causing the pool of liquid on the table and on my paper, which as a result, got stuck. until now, i am sitting at the same table in remembrance of that. diarrhoea in the morning. flu attack too. sorry peeps, if i annoyed you in exams with the sniffing and sneezing.

3rd day of trust: i couldn't locate my pencil box and dockets in the morning. sad to say, that i still couldn't find it now. had to resort to buying 2 new pens again. which had to, not work very well. writing never felt so tough. and i misread the facts in question! this deserves stabbing.

4th day of land: i couldn't predict what's gonna happen yet. but all i want is my pencil boz to be back. and its the last day. it better be good.

so. what may break me will never kill me. its only one paper left. so we'll take it with a better smile. :)

praying it'll do us good.

so, these are the ppl who will tell you the 2nd, 3rd part of our story. and their part no less tougher. :)

oh and pee/ass: i dreamt on sun night that i got a mark of 86 for two of the law papers. i couldn't recall which subject was it. but only a dreamer like me can dream such dreams. beat that. :)

you see the ***** in my cbox? it is actually pussy. but why must they censor me. :(

22nd, i'll see you later.

ppp!

2009-05-14T23:21:00.003+08:00

the AGONY of waiting for exams to be over

is oh such a killjoy.

my mother treats me like a princess during exams.

long live princess pearly!

my dad tells me not to watch too much tv. woops.

okay lah i wanna resume studying. :)

all the brains in your exams too, what have you.

may you not freak out.

and i just did the test again. i am officially a melancholy-choleric-sanguine. :(

i is not very happy.

harder than nuts

2009-05-12T23:51:00.002+08:00

severe depression is a recognized category of psychiatric injury.

gahh can die a million times already.

a timely reminder

2009-05-06T21:59:00.004+08:00

to my fellow bac mates,

please grab hold to your books twenty four seven when you are in uni. carry your bag along, keep it in the safe, hide it in the store room or aunty's fridge, swallow it, whatever.

it is exam time.

and you know what they do best. :)

i really don't und why can't they compile their own notes. ridiculous.

mm unless you are a genius that studies without books.

fallalalalala.

full every minute

2009-05-04T22:30:00.002+08:00

happy buffday adrian yeow!!

i present you, adrian the wise. :)

may raindrops of goodness hover you in times of dry seasons.

happy 1130

2009-05-03T23:19:00.003+08:00

this is for my long lost pen pal, sarah jane matthews. hahhahah.

it is no doubt how music can drive you mentally insane. like in a blown off state. i hope i was given another chance to be talented musically. because they really do wonders to the soul.

hearing is one good thing. but playing is the next best thing to fight for.

i would give anything up for that skillful fingers.

but with what i have, i am contented.

shine on

2009-05-03T22:37:00.007+08:00

once more you open the door...

i still vividly rem sherman telling us this joke while he was in a prefects' room singing this romanticy titanic song. when he was at that line, _____ opened the door. gosh that was hilarious. until now. i guess she wasn't ideal enough, for him. hahahha.

ooo sherman tan say king.

anyways, i'm back from pd! i'll upload pics later when i filter them. :) the combination of the killing sun but soothing sea made me forgive the weather, for a day.

i wish i lived in an island.

anyways, back to the real world of nasty humans and polluted air and mcd now.

mock was satisfying. it feels like i've gone thru my finals. the whooosh impact. you should try.

i is relaxing and watching tv and not studying. this is a life you should be rewarding yourself with, everytime after having much fun. :)

i've started on the series of brothers and sisters. it is a show of necessity on a weekly basis. hey have some fun lah. don't just be a student. be a smart one. :)

22nd, you're gonna go down soon.

sorry. but i ain't accompanying you down.

mock in denial

2009-04-29T23:24:00.005+08:00

land mock

pd

two of you, here i fly.

a special birthday shout out to joycelyn chan and arthur low on 29th april. :)

picture taken by chien su-ann

in pic: nat's 17 bday cupcakes

*throws confetti*

tell me why

2009-04-29T00:05:00.004+08:00

so i subscribed to this everyday annoying but informative dictionary thing.

eleemosynary \el-uh-MOS-uh-ner-ee\, adjective:

1. Of or for charity; charitable; as, "an eleemosynary institution."
2. Given in charity; having the nature of alms; as, "eleemosynary assistance."
3. Supported by or dependent on charity; as, "the eleemosynary poor."

first thing that came to mind? CHARITABLE TRUST.

imagine replacing charitable with eleemosynary.

end result? confirm fail trust law.

nights world. <3

dislikes words

2009-04-27T20:10:00.002+08:00

being a perfectionist pays.

in an ugly fashion.

waited for this all months long

2009-04-23T12:17:00.005+08:00

dear all adidas maniacs,

i've got 8 extra invites to the sales below, on the 24th april, tomorrow (you need an invitation to enter). if you're interested, just let me know. :)

details are as seen.

if you wanna bring me there, it can be arranged. nyeheh.

l l l

don't mess with her life

2009-04-21T21:30:00.006+08:00

i wish to share w you a studying tip, if you haven't try it before. :)

the most productive way of studying.

i live by this, especially nearing finals.

well my uni mates know that i have a secret passion for my notes (besides sarah). and i have to say, i heart my bathroom, ALOT.

so when there's a combination, what will you get? no not sitting on the toilet bowl reading my notes. kinda awful go away.

i just stick them against the wall. while i bathe, i revise. brilliant isn't it?

still looking for my evidence, land and trust corner. hmmm.

whichever way you study, be creative w it!! :)

tata.

have you got one?

2009-04-14T15:05:00.007+08:00

i love my baby boy a million pieces.

it was the 'love at first sight' electricity running through the body kinda feeling. i had never seen anything more perfect like him.

the way he opens his eyes when he wakes up, the way he smiles. just melts me. oh and is he not pampered.

though it was just 4 days since i've known him, it felt like i wanna hold him in my arms forever.

without doubt, the last thing i want my heart to forget is him.

and who else can make me feel that except for

i present to you my new love, sheldon loh ee han.

i have been upgraded to the status of an aunty. what a pleasure.

oh and he frowns alot. like i do. :)

still love her as much.

if all the stars stop blinking

2009-04-08T20:50:00.005+08:00

to my fellow lawyer to be comrades,

i hope this will be a motivation for you to staarrddieee.

<3

found in kelantan

2009-04-06T23:05:00.002+08:00

for all starbucks lovers, this is for you. :)

its april already

2009-04-05T21:41:00.004+08:00

A new Afghan law, which reportedly was never debated in parliament, makes it legal for a man to rape his wife should she refuse to have sex with him. One of the articles of this law has a provision that a woman cannot leave her home without her husband’s permission. And if it’s possible to make this worse, this egregious law says that the wife ‘is bound to preen for her husband as and when he desires.’

“As long as the husband is not traveling, he has the right to have sexual intercourse with his wife every fourth night,” Article 132 of the law says. “Unless the wife is ill or has any kind of illness that intercourse could aggravate, the wife is bound to give a positive response to the sexual desires of her husband.”

*taken from here

is this what we stand on hard ground for?

till the next one

2009-03-31T16:00:00.007+08:00

willpower matters

i will tell you why.

go green

2009-03-30T23:06:00.003+08:00

any picture with me in is a prettier picture, joseph.

another one for the record. :)

he's back from 'national suffer'

2009-03-29T18:51:00.004+08:00

if you want NICER pictures, nyeheh bribe me w sweets. :)

earth hour tonight!!!!

2009-03-28T13:30:00.004+08:00

goodbye, viva.

hello, exams. oh wait. and assignment marks.

:(

urrghhh.

*points down*

i'm preparing for earth hour hey.

we die we die

2009-03-27T00:41:00.021+08:00

seriously, i blog for very simple reasons.

okay. 15 pics, 15 thousand words. nah grab all you want.

besides the silverman. he stays.

hey i am spending earth hour with a romantic candlelight dinner. what are you doing to make a difference? besides playing lanterns that is.

till the next upload. :)

viva la vida!

i like guitars

2009-03-20T12:43:00.004+08:00

if i were to own a cafe one day, i will not have my ice cubes made up of water. because it melts and the drink becomes diluted. instead, the ice cubes will be made up of the drink's contents. so, it will add more taste to the drink when it melts.

law is getting interestingly complicated. the amount of theories, statutes, cases. CAN DIE. well but it pays to deserve something more worthy in the future isn't it. as you and i are familiar with, bittersweet is the name.

it is 2 months left for preparation for finals, and 3 months to prepare for the journey. i am looking forward to leaving, no kidding. :) i think two decades of life here is sufficient to experience the malaysia-ness.

you know, i watched 'taken' yesterday with my dad. on a more personal note, i recommend it to you as to me, it was a 5 star movie. i would watch it again if you bring me. :) shows how good it is eh.

anyway, it is a story abt 2 teenage girls being abducted on their holiday to paris. purpose of abduction? to drug them then turn them into prostitutes. 1 of the girl's dad, chose to go all the way to paris in saving his beloved 17 year old. of course, he has the cutting edge to do so.

upon watching the movie, i was hoping that certain mind damaging scenes won't occur. why so? because i really felt the pain for my dad. well no doubt we have taken advantage of the trust our parents have for us. especially if you're in a father daughter scenario, you will get me.

currently i am worried. that my ever protective dad won't spare me to uk. because if i were him, i will have second thoughts abt the whole studying in uk plan.

these things do happen in real life, just minus a hero. found out from my dad that malaysia is actually a transit point for these 'selling girls', drugs and whatever evil you can think of activities. are you enticed to be a hero/heroin now?

well in our culture, we are taught to surrender our belongings whenever robbery happens. because we already lost the hero in ourselves by being contented.

and then a hero comes along, with the strength to carry on

a cuppa coffee

2009-03-12T23:25:00.003+08:00

perhaps the other side of the veil has to be unleashed.

it was a simple morning where i decided to have breakfast at mcd, the favourite breakfast place. following my nature, i started looking at the people who walked in, what they do etc. then a malay man walked in. carrying a pretty decent sackcloth bag, clothed with an orangey check shirt, clad with black pants and covered-toe shoes, he walked in alone.

i always had the admiration of people walking alone, because perhaps, i feel i belong to the same group. :) so i was extra attentive to his gestures. he went to the garbage bin upon walking in. i guess i was curios to see what a person can do at the garbage bin without holding anything.

so he picked up a plastic coffee cup and headed to the washing area. having the cup washed, he slided to the counter, asking for a refill for the cup in his hands. then walked out. upon first thought, i thought that was quite an unhygienic thing to do. but even as i thought about it today, i realised the need.

it is most probably easy for most of us to buy a cup of coffee at mcd and then throw the cup away without much hesitation. it would be 'not cool' to keep the cup so that i can use it next time, instead of buying a new one.

but this cup may represent to that man, a cup of life. where when life has taken its toll from him, this is his only reward, a free one especially. and it would be cruel for us to think that these things won't occur to us as this life is not one we're familiar to.

however while you can, be a cup of coffee to the needy. :)

cheerios.

sun raining

2009-03-07T13:01:00.004+08:00

i don't think it is OUR price to pay for teens growing up so rapidly.

well at least, i won't succumb to looking more grown up in comparison with them.

the brains matters anyway.

circle of trust

2009-02-28T10:48:00.006+08:00

i am now assured that it rewards to be fervent.

i plead guilty for casting doubts on the maker of all things, the one who gave me brains to choose. choices did make me go haywire for quite some time. and a stone struck me. no i didn't bleed, i knew it wasn't the best thing to do. then i decided that i should surrender these tiring moments to Him, as i didn't have anything to lose anyway.

"ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it will be opened to you."

that was a prayer fulfilled after hearing the breaking news. it wasn't my brains which got me that far, but i know it is His hands. :)

so now, i have a dream university in my hands. the rest is to just work exceedingly diligent to make

conditional

into

unconditional

yes of course, all in His circle of trust.

hand wash basins!

2009-02-26T21:40:00.004+08:00

hertfordshire understands me.

Telford Court is the most modern hall, with eleven blocks of seven or eight self-contained flats. Each flat accommodates six people in single rooms. All rooms have
hand washbasins.

hohoho.

p/s: vic kie you got it right. :)

shrimp burnt no taste linguine

2009-02-22T21:43:00.002+08:00

there are 3 factors which determines my life.

1. cooking.
2. driving.
3. doing math.

now, my life is ruined. hooray.

grumpy ol' grandma

2009-02-21T23:32:00.004+08:00

gahh gaahhh gaaahhhh

it was my ingenious, perfect, beautiful, thoughtful, chinese plan to blog on the 10, 000 hit!

you just gotta ruin it. you yes you. spoiler betul. :(

hurrrrmmmmprummmuummfummmpphph.

angry in gear 5.

grew out of 19th

2009-02-19T11:44:00.005+08:00

hello. :)

it is '19th for joy' day. congrats me when you see me okay. i felt like my whole life has just passed. nyeheh.

i will blog about post tort/cny/birthdays/land/valentine's/trust soon. you gotta TRUST me for going through trust.

you see, i liked the way we all panic assignment over assignment where help gets lesser, question gets tougher and air gets thinner. breathing was a difficulty, as we have learned.

but, breakthrough came today! as sarah said, viva doesn't count.

ass off, books on.

i need another line to complete off the rainbow series. nahh.

najis day

2009-02-12T23:16:00.003+08:00

shaping scene.

do not enter.

happy cny

2009-01-25T18:34:00.003+08:00

happy chinese prosperous wealthy healthy angpau-ty hot food-flooded new year!

may there be many more reunions to come.

:)

and drink lotsa water.

i'm bringing oranges! mandarin.

2009-01-23T00:30:00.008+08:00

there is this time of the year that we would recall high school memories, laughing together. and perhaps, laughing at teachers.

not please take the rat.

please take

*arrow*

ORANGES

this yr is no less then last year. welcome back the unsangkarables!

don't you think we looked funky and fun?

chicken chocolate fondue

2009-01-21T21:31:00.012+08:00

sweet/bitter chocolate lovers!

so yesterday, under kelly's persuasion, we tried out the chocolate fondue in theobroma chocolate lounge.

we were conned. but it was okay that we only had a plate. do not underestimate the filling fondue can give. :)

sarah, satisfied with her curry chicken pie after the waitress telling her that there is no fettucine and green curry.

needless to say, this is how satisfied i was.

you know, kelly just couldn't wait to lay her hands on that pie.

tsk. we told her to behave. we really did.

how are you today?

brain outcry

2009-01-20T00:23:00.007+08:00

is land-ing on rough grounds.

p/s: pray for speedy recovery for my phone. it has been admitted to phone-recovery-unit as it wasnt willing to slide up down up down. it goes white-out. oh phone, revive!

so forgive me if i cacat msg you.

btw, 'criminal minds' is a mind hooker.

i want crocs

2009-01-15T00:13:00.004+08:00

headache

i'm a believer in freely giving freely receiving.

*land is torturing*

ding. dong. bell.

loh-yer

2009-01-12T23:47:00.007+08:00

i like! the new messenger because it has bullet points on it. so pretty and organized and proper. no?

anyways, education fair was quite an achievement for bac. i think the 'container' thing in the middle looks clean and professional. wassup. :)

person a: "huh lawyer? aiyah don't want lah. scared."

don't mess with us. we are threatening.

any takers?

open the door

2009-01-06T01:56:00.007+08:00

bear with me. i am practising for my 3000 word essay. :)

looking back at youth camp pictures reminds me of certain changes throughout camp history:

1. how not being to remember how many camps i've been to before still puzzles me. was it villa dominic or peace haven 1st?
2. having 2 committee shirts out of 5 shows the seniority. and the wrinkles.
3. that i struggle to catch my breathe after 'jumping through' a chorus. that was a hard one to overcome i tell you. i hv zero stamina. *new year resolution!
4. you only pack a day before camp and still forget to pack all things.
5. when variety night is just abt looking and laughing and yet be contended, satisfied.
6. you sleep throughout the bus ride while there are some mat rempit stunning their stuff.
7. yeah. when that black out thing occured. my life pictures couldn't even flash before my eyes. that was how speedy it happened.
8. you fall sick before camp and hoping that you get to skip camp this yr!
9. there is an upgrade to a 2 person room for senior citizens. oh and water heater too. yay.
10. when you pack little clothes because you know you would use every wit you hv to avoid getting wet and wasting the shirt. and the aftermath, worrying that it'll stink.

at least you can pat yourself and say, "i 'changed' after camp."

phase 1-a brilliant babe
i was a naughty baby, refusing to save her the suffering 10 days earlier. but i was an easy-going one. and very well-pampered too by aunty and uncles. i guess i was THAT precious that i had to be named pearly. but i looked malay-ish. nurses asked, "melayu ke?"

phase 2-an obedient young kid
i remember growing up as a dumb and obedient kid. it is the package. kids now are cunning. okay so, awesome kid lah. and yes pampered. because i WAS the only kid. :) literally, the world was under my control. and i had a pink panther as tall as me to conquer the world. i wore pretty dresses which some, still circulates around today. i had barbie dolls and my masak-masak set. oo and did i not love to wash my dolls' hair and blow dry it. mum thought i was crazy. it was standard one, being a banana, my parents peep through the window, observing me during class times. also, how everyone thought i was a freak because i did not know the mother tongue. i had only one friend for the 1st few months. the teacher would also mark down my homework for me and me alone because i don't know what she's talking about. talking abt serving. :D it was ballet era! where for once, i looked like a true female while having that waist-long hair. tee hee.

phase 3-the shock of my life
i know i always prayed for a younger sis. to the extend i begged my parents for it. one saturday morning after koko activities, while in the car, parents announced the mum's pregnancy. *jaws open wide* obviously i wasn't ready for it. i like being the stand-alone bubbly pampered precious rocker in my family. but what to do. cannot be rewind werd. that time, i disliked phoebe being born on the same day as we were suppose to celebrate dad's bday. ugh.

phase 4-kick ass teen
where crushes and jealousy set in. and i was so proud being the head of a zone. nyheheheh. i wanted to be a civil engineer because it sounded cool. like, silver engineer. *shines* then reality hit hard on me. dang it involves maths. perhaps my proudest moment was achieving the post of a leo club president. i get to wear my black and gold name tag in school while others just wear cloth-ones. hee. and another thing! i sang in an album. i think the singing cells developed.

phase 5- ripe older teen
i decided that i would do law in the future. which made everyone surprised at my decision. but being in pure science should not be the price to pay. i do not look scientific. i do not wear nerdy specs and speak like a geek. :) nor can i draw or design or be creative. i suppose, confused. oh and i looked forward to camp since january! doing crazy things like sharing secrets till 2-3am, having the torch as a light. and cramming into a single bed. and having gigantic huge luggages, as to not miss anything. then, i loved games. and those messy ones. flour, eggs etc. and just having a good time guessing each other's dates for banquet night. our thoughts were so united. and those times my class perform so regularly for anti-dadah week etc. twas a blast. did i say i passed driving the 3rd time? God is merciful. :)

phase 6-a major
a legal studies student in a legal year. a-levels proved herself hard to tackle. those emo moments i get every two weeks or so. and the pms moments which killed many people. i liked being occupied. just being busy every minute thrills me. as a result, the melancholy side came in. the ocd as well. fav sentence: "i wanna wash my hands." being random was what i liked to do. liking songs of mamma mia instead of pussycat dolls', having more slow songs in my player proves nature of my age.

as su-ann said, i am a 20 year old in the year of 2009. life gets more colourful when studies hv become number 2. not mentioning the mountain size of assignments, encyclopedia size of law journals and textbooks, 10 years long of writing, one ton size of views and comments that had to be squeezed out at the corner of my brain. how will we survive uk? ask sarah jane or vic kie. they'd tell you. but being 20 is terrific. another year to 21! how i long to reach that number. 20 means managing my temper, having more self control in thoughts, less msg-ing, pretend that i'm in love with my books and notes, having a pda or an e-grandmother, coping with situations that i couldn't handle before, serving Him more, being grateful for the countless blessings throughout the years, know how to reverse properly and do my side-parking reverse parking etc, getting more organized, decreasing in mental stress, exercising to compensate for the food intake, being healthy and wealthy, act like i am 20, not to waste food, telling my friends how amazing they are, planning 5 years ahead, graduating with an llb, reducing in the amount of tears produced, forgiving others, smiling more.

"when i was a child, i spoke as a child, i understood as a child, i thought as a child: but when i became a man, i put away childish things."

-1 corinthians 14:1-

He who is in heaven is gonna be the creator and witness of my mind blowing life ahead.

ready to paint more colours yet? join me!!

the gift

2009-01-05T23:08:00.005+08:00

this was the 1st class of the year.

ain't it fun?

they repainted uni. now it looks like a kindergarten.

the blend of this and this.

mamma mia

2009-01-02T01:17:00.005+08:00

i have deep thoughts which i'm not exactly sure how to word it, without explicitly spelling out the meaning.

how much does your covenant weigh anyway? maybe as long as the season remains and does you good. i am thoroughly disappointed as you chose to prove it yourself.

oh humans. tempting chances we have. to reach out or to keep it low.

for someone like me wouldn't be created for the greater good.

progress? still at below sea level.

what is life without friends? i would wanna hv a go. :)
because they think i take them lightly. some expressly say so, others just by implying. as they act the same towards me.

i am naturally not loving. but when i love, you doubt me. an irony.

i am unsure of the directions ahead. but i feel like giving up already. the high maintainance friendship. i'm afraid i can't keep up with your whims and fancies and more, knowing that you dislike my whims and fancies. yet pushing yourself thru it. just away away, won't you?

why can't i be myself and still standing anyway?

i don't need you to prove me worthy.

selamat tahun baru

2009-01-01T15:49:00.016+08:00

happy merry hearty new year!

this year is gonna be full of surprises, blessings, expectancy, challenges, heart-ache moments, new friendships, restoration and brains.

embrace it with the life you have.

sip in every piece of your life thanking Him despite the circumstances.

what do you say to taking chances?

be grateful for the past:

hello remarkable 2009!

hohoho

2008-12-24T18:37:00.004+08:00

a very very merry merry christmas to all you lovelies!!

may all your hearts' wishes and prayers be miraculously covered and protected.

:) have yourself a merry lil christmas remembering the meaning behind it.

you and i

2008-12-22T01:37:00.004+08:00

it feels different tonight without you(s).

no one to bug me for maggi mee.
no one to stick ard the bed despite the alarm.
no one who switches on two lights at a time.
no one who feels kelam-kabut abt the whole cmas present thing.
no one to bring out that detailed names and relationships and reasons to give.

miss you(s) lar.

its me and my bed tonight.

she will be loved

2008-12-17T02:22:00.002+08:00

as of now, i feel that i should be hung for hurting someone i live/loved/going to love.

this is really getting nowhere. was looking thru my past messages where i found the month of sorrow. the month where i cried my eyeballs out almost everyday 3-4 days. and how i would stone in conversations with friends. and seemingly how everything i see or feel links me back to him.

that was a pain in the eyes, mind, heart. something which i hope i got over with but would still bug me every now and then, secretly. it feels lousy to see one leave and there's NOTHING i could do to save it. but just take it with all the heart you have built for 10plus yrs. it was gone in a single week. awesome apathy.

months of reading thru lines i couldn't understand was mind-bobbling. such a disturbance wondering. i craved for the understanding, just so i could help. and till the day i found out the general meaning, i tried to fit those pieces of puzzle together, as perfectly done as possible.

ouch and beyond . did it not eat up my conscience even more.

well, if you ask me, i can assuredly say to you that though things may seem to have left, it has not. please do not ask me to let go for you wouldn't have. :)

but thanks for caring anyway. this is a tattoo in my life which couldn't be erased. forever it shall not fade. but God will give me the grace to wrap things up with love and forgiveness. stubborn faces shall not remain and rule the future.

HE shall.

it is time we let go as we love the undeserving.

ass-es

2008-12-13T22:17:00.001+08:00

assignments are such a killjoy in this month of celebration.

in transit

2008-12-12T23:22:00.005+08:00

okay lah sorry.

i wasn't caught up with work.

but my dear little friends named fever, flu, throat infection decided to pay me a visit this december. knowing it to be a happening month. they didn't wanna miss out.

but it'll be an official update after genting.

note: i rly intended to update okay.

my words to another update. :)

just as i was whining abt assignments, my ex criminal lec's name appeared in the mailbox. so freaky wan. like as if assignment part 2 needed because i failed my paper or smt. hahahaha.

but

Nazri play-plays and pooh-poohs in parliament!

is the name of the game apparently. oh happy reading.

loves* while i embrace the cold.

call my name when you see you! i am almost not responding to pearly like how i do towards suet yen. :(

oh God bless claire's class too.

eh this is getting more abstract. thoughts linking ability retuuuurrn!

the annie song

2008-12-02T02:03:00.002+08:00

tomorrow tomorrow
i love ya tomorrow
its only a day a way

to updates. :)

*promises sarah*

i can be your hero baby

2008-11-05T00:26:00.005+08:00

sometimes its just so annoying looking at law student's blogs and its all abt studies progression.

whereas i'm still liking the idea of copying notes.

hero lah.

starting to enjoy talking to kids and threatening them. hahaha. and being bullied willingly. but they are nice. they help me pick up my fallen pencils when i'm carrying a handful of them.

can't wait for thurs yo.

my white flag ceases to arise yet. :)

i can't wait already.

aging on a graceful note

2008-10-23T00:47:00.009+08:00

i was just chatting with a teenage girl, which i admit, is a thing i've always wanted to avoid.

so i was 'advising' her in oh so many ways that i even felt like a potential logicalist/nagger. mm. we talked much. from spelling to relationships to phone calls to gangsters to fights to guys. being overwhelmed by so much details and dares, i felt like a belonged to a high school stage. no joke. it was that time where i had the opportunity to reflect back on my own youth.

how gangsterism fights would often occur in my school but i just couldn't be bothered or bothered to be notified. how the thought of being in a relationship didn't snatch away a piece of my heart and mind before. how i wouldn't even initiate a phone call, especially for irrelevant or non-urgent matters. how i just wanted to live in peace, knowing what i'm doing, and not wanting to be involved in others' affairs. how i just won't open my arms to embrace problems that i didn't bring upon myself.

unexpectedly, the conversation led me to a shock in my night. simply because i don't see how her issues could slowly pile up into head-scratching problems. honestly, i don't see the relevance in bringing up issues that could not even exist from the beginning. i mean, how is it possible right? but oh yes. men make wonders. :)

i reflected upon my teenagerhood. memooriieess? seems like i left that behind because i was too absent-minded to pick them up. another possibility. nothing dramatic even happened in the first place. and yes, it was the latter. i am thankful to know that i grew up without much disturbance, headaches(not-literally) and heartache moments, gang fights, outside settlements, betrayal, sicknesses and anything unpleasant. though mine wasn't a fantastic smooth ride, but i thank God because it is smoother than what i perceive these days.

thank you for giving me wisdom, analytic and logical brains, which enabled me to surpass all the other surprise boxes that we know well, how it shouldn't be opened in unexpected circumstances.

i appreciate growing mature overnight.

but just a slight problem. not growing old overnight with pre-mature headaches and backaches would be more awesome. :D

so, what is your precedence?

p/s: why must i go for prom? can't i skip all these ocassions for as long as i live? why need to dress up for only a few hours? so un-purposeful. :(

prevailing

2008-10-20T00:37:00.004+08:00

i sneezed when i entered this page. where's the duster??!!

and its just living everyday with doubt, contradiction and too much logic and 'common sense'.

common sense tells us that brushing your teeth each time after meal is essential to keep it healthy and bacteria free. but research says, do not brush right after your meal. it needs to absorb some nutrients.

they say drinking tea keeps you alert and more awake. but you are really annoyed with the caffeine level it provides you.

take panadol to relieve your headache disasters. but not all of us know about the liver story it ensues.

why you do live, professing your faith to the whole world but left out the ones which look to you in hope? aren't you bothered by how the Almighty up there sees how much contradiction you are carrying in your bag? don't bother. you can't hide it anyway. what is call a temptation, you fell. what is call a hurdle, you didn't have the ability to pass through. but you were just stubborn and would not seek help. you prefer to let life take its course on you, not laying your own paths.

you are owned by someone unworthy yet saved by someone so worthy.
may you see the shame that men has hung on you.
its never too late to make a u-turn.

i still heart you.

i finally recognized my hobby after spending yrs searching for it. i loveeeeee copying notes. :) :) :) don't you just love it, fellow classmates? and now i've got colourful files to insert them too! lamination is a possibility. heheheh.

my blog count went up a 100 plus despite not being around.
do i stone or rock?
i know okay.

wake me up when september ends. behold, my precious. i await with anciety.

a dot of perfection

2008-09-22T01:04:00.005+08:00

and i do agree that childishness is THE root to all evil.

it is always very easy to think that perhaps one is influenced by his/her family background. or, we pity him/her because she went through a very tough-going time. but really, deepest deepest down, these are all just lies that we trick ourselves in. simply because we don't need to be concern. if they are immature, their own pasal kan? they brought it onto themselves. and there's nothing we can do anyway. they won't listen. let me tell you. that. you. are. ever. wrong. maybe it doesn't annoy you that often. but it does for me. it all just boils down to your expectation level. like, seeing how spoilt a person can get. like, how a guy perceives that his main aim in life is just to serve the girlfriend. no i'm not denying that some of us do grow out of it. undeniably, it takes time. but. does it take 10 + forever years? i was once childish. it was the sight of seeing how people's childishness are coughed me out of it, a little more. it was that no matter how strong and long i stood my grounds, it doesn't make you feel better either. it was the conscience of living in the future which stopped me from plunging myself into the darker void. being absent for the past weeks makes me feel more relaxed and more normal.

if you would ask me, i would prefer hanging out with young adults/adults than with my peers. i never wanna stop learning. we all do. but being just stagnant, it doesn't help one much. how topic vasts from one to other. to see how at this table, we talk from building one's confidence after having an experience of homosexuality. how to be able to help them. and to see dark knight from two angles. at that table, we talk mostly on daily living, our happening incidents and perhaps what is the latest on the list.

do you know what i extremely hate?
me: i was robbed yesterday la. all important documents all gone. even my passport. *showsfear
you: oh really? eh i had a worse incident okay. i was threatened to give them all my belongings.

please. we ALL do that. but silly, is it very demanding to actually express concern? and not bring more attention to yourself by showing off how much more 'drama' it was for you? that will be a total lost of respect. not to mention being offended. okay i digressed a lil. guess i'm comfortable being at where i am. seems like a new habit which i picked up and can stick to easily. i don't wanna return. badly, i destroyed the opportunity. i'm not casting blames on anyone or myself. just that i deeply enjoyed the period of time.

life does not have to be a bed of roses. it doesn't have to be filled with laughters all day. it doesn't need to be very happening all day. it doesn't need make me rich and famous. it doesn't need me to blend in everywhere i go.

as long as, we live we learn we forgive and never give up. cause today we are given are gifts from above, and today we remember to live to love.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JANE!!
may you stay pretty always. ho. :)

and....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY WEI SHIN!!
may you stay as nice as ever. :)

boleh: word of the day

2008-09-15T00:11:00.004+08:00

because i'm bored/boring. whilst trying to prolong time. okay. another 5 mins. that's my regular sentence.

because there is nothing functioning in the brain, *ps: brain stops analyzing after 12, pls don't disturb. i shall just be very random and disorganized.

1: i know i'm not gonna do well for land law. because, it is land law. crap i think i wasn't customized to attune to his language.

2: contact lenses can cause misery.

3: feel out of touch from the whole youth despite the absence for a day.

4: i'm rolling into kumon tmr yo!

5: i found another lover. headache is the name. it was attracted to me, not vice versa. it has been
with me for the past two days. can you tell him to leave me alone?

6: i can't wait for fraser's.

7: there is an alternate timetable!! *hopsaroundvirtually

8: on 2nd thought, ******* may be better. :)

9: i bring no hope into the 2nd yr. save me.

10: i washed two pairs of shoes. love washing shoes and bags. looking forward to 'spring' cleaning.

it was a very melancholic week.

people are getting grumpier. because MALAYSIA is memang BOLEH. really living up to our name. blame us for what?

eh.
we boleh detain people who gives info abt the murder but not the killer himself.
we boleh charge people by just fabricating evidence.
we boleh threaten to quit *bravo you de facto.
we boleh twist the facts so adversely.
we boleh send invitations to an event twice.

"no one is above the law" - thomas fuller.
pause. in malaysia, an umno member IS above the law.

lastly, we BOLEH sept 16!!!

sings malaysia truly asia~

2008-09-11T22:53:00.005+08:00

why dress lala-ly? passed by asian avenue today. which is known by many people as 'lala' land. what so lala abt it anyway? let me tell you why. they have very odd colour clothes, very distinctive shirts, very shiny keychains, very odd combination of varieties, very uncomfortable settings and habits of restaurants, very narrow pathways and very messy plannings.

i feel degraded when i walked in there. is this how the world label us 'asians'? is this really the true definition of asian teens? lala you say? okay i've never been an ang-moh or whatever moh before. so i can't really comment on our TRUE definition.

i mean hey, walking in a shop followed by a young teenage girl greeting you, "hi, may i help you miss? and what you looking for?". eh such a heartache situation. actually, what are they doing there when they deserve education? why is their hair coloured and nails painted in schooling age? i pity.

saw also two similiar scenarios. the 'older' woman carrying a baby. along with a younger woman. pushing the pram or smt. i chose not to believe that it is the younger woman's baby. like, how did she even give birth at such a young age. fingers-crossed. impossible.

and there comes reality. mum strongly opines that it is indeed the younger woman's baby. gahh. thunderlightningstorm. but once again, they are bahagia. it leaves us to a conclusion. they have to be/are happy the way how things turned to be. mind you, she's only 20-23?

sigh. how somethings and values are gone with the wind. i can't wait till i'm 30 smt. always am eagerly looking forward to the day where this batch of teens form their own family one day, carrying an undeserving history on their back.

and it stretches till the day of no regrets. looking at our quality and the nation's quality, can we even last for another 10 yrs? us, the supposingly future leaders of tommorow, yes you, are we able and willing to be a tool to make tommorrow happen? mm. or we could just shatter our dreams and hope whatnot, to hide in one's shadow.

i am looking ahead. to see how will this generation survive the harsher days of tommorow. as for now, may tommorow never come.

no matter what,

'God, if I can't have what I want, let me want what I have.'

updates, longdates, nodates

2008-09-02T13:41:00.006+08:00

this is a very long-dated post.
because i've been too lazy.

well well. where to start from.
okay start from number 27.

supposingly 1 month minus 1 week hols. which equals to unproductive-ness.

hols has been behaving its goodself. or should i say, the most appreciated hols ever.

3 weeks is definitely a big 'X' for a job. and an impossibility to tour europe. hahaha.
so, what do i do?

many many things. from badminton to shopping to food hunting to steamboat to seafooding to movie marathons to more bday celebratings to multiple family dinners a week to blog hopping to a surprise from india :) :) to everything i wanted and obliged to fulfill.

almost all done and more to come.
what to do.
ample time, massive effort, striving determination eh.

oh and i got offered to be an assistant teacher in kumon. *yay.
why i chose kumon?
because i like the logo.
its so friendly and smiley. hee.
still considering though.

i had a very horrific dream.
feels like i almost fainted in sleep.
but how do you make it possible? mm.

fellow uni mates, i dreamt that i was SUED!!
why? because i punched a church friend of mine for pouring two glasses of lemon juice on a girl's head. (no i do not hate him)
mind you, i did not just punch.
i fought with him until we were all over the floor.
whoa i felt lebih strong and powerful that time.
fighting a guy and causing him hurt?
takes a girl like ':)' .
pandai, i was sued by him.
in court, i distinctively remember the judge shouting the word 'redress'!!

FEAR FEAR FEAR.

outcome: i had to pay him damages for what he has incurred. wound hurt and all those tort stuff.
so in my mind, i came up with a defence.
what can i use as a shield?
ahah. self defence under s.3(1) cla 1977 or common law defence! *can'tbelieveiwascriminal-ing.
but jeng jeng jeng. self defence is only allowed for prevention of a crime. right?
:( pouring lemon juice is so not a crime.
i know that.
never felt so wrongly accused before.
for helping a girl i don't even know.
ugh. bitter bitter feelings surrounded the heart.
no other aid i can seek.
and nothing could be done to save it.
my hopes and dreams as a lawyer gone.
how to further my studies with a criminal record?!
gracefully, it was a dream i woke up from.
and i spent the rest of the night thinking about it.

haha. its hilarious.
but it was enough to caught me reminiscing about it all day long.
really caught me off guard.

a hint to head towards criminal?
ask Him. :)

discovery of the day: found his blog. a friend whom i enjoy talking to. a toast to depth!

p/s: results are fine times two. thanks for the utmost concern. :)

we proceed without hitches!

unheard announcement

2008-08-25T13:29:00.005+08:00

untidy handwritings.
cups of coffee which sometimes malfunction.
old trustie law books which dazzels.
dying and loyal pens.
multiple warts.
10+ tabs in firefox (luckily it didn't hang).
stabilo coloured pens.
late nights and early mornings.
depressing dreams.
notes. notess. notesss.
2 assignments in 6 minus 2 days.
the viva with the ang moh lady.
jitters.
super aircons.
results oh no :(

NO MORE.

well, actually. no more for now la. guess the list is gonna double/triple the next yr. sorry my bad, the next month i mean.

but.

T.G.I.O. :)

tak der mood nak update dan express banyak banyak. tak der feeling of lega pun.

wait before i go. i wanna present to you some lame-ness.

one day, char siew pau and man tou went for a movie. the movie was rather sad though. then they went it, watched the movie, and came out. upon their exit, char siew pau started crying. but man tou didn't. why is it so?

because char siew pau has 'fillings'!!

haha funny or not? :D u.allen totally open up a new world of lameness man.

hee. okay. till another settled day.

results gonna be out tmr! i think. *fears*

so smile for me :)

2008-08-09T00:28:00.003+08:00

*sneaksbackin*

and SCREAMS very loudly.

public is over!!

utterly relieved. :) :) :) :) :) :D :D :D :D :P :P :P :P :P

seriously i am. this can be said as one of the most satisfactory exams i've sat for thus far.
me is satisfied.

tee hee.

leaving on a jetplane

2008-07-31T14:01:00.002+08:00

the owner has deserted her blog for quite some time. in fact, will desert it again for another 2 weeks.

"no lah not stressed. hmmm. maybe a lil.."

i don't wanna go places you've not been

2008-07-22T23:13:00.003+08:00

despite the mood, He never fails to encourage me. hope it works miracles for you too. :)

i don't wish.

2008-07-21T10:55:00.005+08:00

yesterday, i gained a (sincerely, i hope) recognition.

i've always wondered if i'm taking life too seriously. and walaa! there came a confirmation i've been struggling for and with.

"pearly takes life too seriously. everytime i walk in class, the 1st face i see is her looking at the clock."

*thuderstormlightningsoundeffect*

worth noting huh. too many a times, i feel undermined being treated as 'just another teenager'. as a person whom we can joke around with every second, every minute, every hour. well, really, i expect depth, from us both.

if i'm the only human being is this world, perhaps my expectation-level will go down in no time.

sadly, i'm not. so there arises expectations. and i guess i am the extraordinary. to find that it is just VERY unnecesary to still act like yound teens when circumstances around us does not keep up to our tide. they go wayyyyy further.

will you chase them? or do you be oh-happy-go-lucky?

but really, how do you measure yourself? in every aspect you just using a measuring cup and refill it everyday? or do you see the possibility of measuring yourself in His eyes? do you ever see beyond your own comprehension and knowledge. that's the matter.

i am a believer that we should not live our lives as if we've been ordained to routines. but to the contrary, we seek the meaning to routines and still nevertheless follow it, preparing our hearts for a day of great challenge. maybe then, we thank routines because it shaped us.

for many of you, you hope that the time wheel will turn back just so that you can enjoy your childhood/teenagerhood once again. because, that is a place of no worries. have you seen the possibility in doing it then? perhaps a 100% impossibility would smack you in the face.

why are you still living as if you're in the time wheel now? why not imagining the future? and live in accordance to it. pardon me, but i can't really grasp your way of living and thinking. that like everyday is a fun-fair day.

yeah. i am not acting intra-vires. pearly is ultra-vires, acting beyond her given (or maybe not) powers. i guess that's a 'speciality' that i don't mind having. the ability to live life in my own way rationally and to have a non-teenager composed mind.

there are things i see with my understanding, where they just see with the eyes. whatsoever it may be, i am thankful that i'm the odd one. because He made me this way. though its TOUGH to fine another odd one. sigh.

p/s: i'm his yardstick of expressions. i should better surpress my eyebrow-raising habit and
facial expressions and looking at clocks and questioning his pronunciation.

till another odd day, tata.

everyday blues

2008-07-16T23:41:00.004+08:00

i thought that maybe its fine to just join the uni mates in ranting on timetables, lectures etc.

i agree, jasmine, that our moods are RUNNING LIKE CRAZY.

i want my life not to be simple, but just a lil simpler. i would definitely appreciate it.

as for happenings, to go smoother, or rather, my way. than having to adjust adjust and adjust again.

i need more mature friends. people, act your age.

i need more sleep.

i need more time.

for a moment, i wish i wasn't studying law. ugh. the pile of work, lectures, assignments!! killjoy.

i want more shopping time lah. and a strategy in shopping. hmmm.

what's happening to erratic timetables man? 7 days a week. i hope you are reminded of a 'break'.

i need to make nicer notes as my wallpaper.

when can i not have monday blues?

when will people learn to be not self-centered?

i'm glad the drama was a success.

most teenagers these days are not capable of mature thoughts.

that's all i've to say. well not really. but what i can say.

youth rally 2008 - breakthru

2008-07-04T12:46:00.008+08:00

i am inviting you to this AWESOME event

YOUTH RALLY 2008 is coming again! carrying the theme - BREAKTHRU.

hey, when was the last time you said that

life has been unfair?
i'm a failure?
if only I was better?
i feel unheard?It was his/her/my fault?
i am giving up?

are you in need of a breakthrough or miracle?

if you are seeking answers that has not yet come to you, do come and join us and discover a breakthrough that you can have.

hope to see you at and on -

venue: Wisma Eagles,no 5 Jalan TP4, Taman Perindustrian UEP, Subang Jaya 47600 ,Selangor
Darul Ehsan, Malaysia.
date and time: 12th July 2008, 4-6 pm.
contact person: Richard - 012 355 8152, Tito - 017 611 8594

alternatively, you can inform me if you wanna come. :)

do check this cool video out too!!

come and discover. :)

finally

2008-07-01T20:40:00.006+08:00

if you wld to ask me what i do during leisure, i would say thinking. :)

thinking is an art to me. i learn much out of it. the capabilities of doing this and that. it is like a sifter. whatever that comes out after all the thoughts and deciphering turns out to be more perfect. or rather, wiser. i wished i had more thinking feeding my thoughts. on positive thoughts. but it seems to defy its purpose. when i connect my link of thoughts, it is often rendered as the truth. well, at least for me.

on this day, feelings kept rushing in like bees over honey.

sometimes the people i love the most disappoint me the most

sometimes i am too concern about other things/people that i forget myself

sometimes i am jealous of something that might not be worth having

sometimes i dislike the truth i see

sometimes i rather hurt myself than you you and you

sometimes you take advantage of me

sometimes i appreciate my friends above myself

sometimes i dwell on my thoughts overly

sometimes i feel the impossible because my sense doesn't fail me much

sometimes and even more times lately i feel insecure about things/people

sometimes i wonder do i protected or get protected

sometimes i feel too emotionally attached that its inseparable

sometimes its not what they think towards me but what you think towards me

sometimes i put on a fake smile

sometimes i contradict myself

sometimes i am v strong at the right time but weak at the wrong time

sometimes it is not easy to please me

sometimes i feel like i can do better than where i'm at now

sometimes i regret my decisions because i'm not left with many choices

sometimes i feel guilty for disappointing you

sometimes i wonder what my destiny would be like

sometimes i'm haunted by the past

sometimes i feel undeserving

sometimes i'm afraid to believe in promises

sometimes i miss out too much in life

when all my sometimes are added up together, they become a large part of me.

Found what its like to hurt selfishly
Scared to give of me
Afraid to just believe
I was in a jealous, insecure, pathetic place
Stumbled through the mess that I have made

a reward

2008-06-26T14:13:00.006+08:00

got tagged by sasa a long time ago. but, priorities. so here is it now.

Name: pearly loh suet yen
Sisters: a younger one
Brothers: none. always wanted an elder one to protect me. heh. the 'bro-ness' is
in me somewhere.
Shoe size: five, the ordinary.
Height: five feet two
Where do you live: kl, the centre of malaysian living.
Favourite drink: carrot milk
Favourite breakfast: don't have the bfast habit
Have you ever been on a plane: yups. to singapore. when i was a tiny kid.
Swam in the ocean: i think so.
Fallen asleep in school: in selective periods. :)
Broken someone's heart: yeah.
Fell off your chair: forgot who's the culprit. hmmph. such things only happen in school.
Sat by the phone all night waiting for someone to call: i don't anticipate calls. :)
Saved e-mails: overflowing.
What is your room like: its pink. and yes i regretted.
What is the last thing you ate: chinese-like maggi goreng. i cooked okay. but i always
fail. why??
Ever had Chicken pox: when i was 9. i looked ugly when celebrating dad's bday.
Sore throat: now yes.
Stitches: i'm flawless. hahaha.
What's right beside you: right is a chair. left is nothing. that means insecurity.
Do you believe in love at first sight: not at all.
Like picnics: depends on the heat on that day.
Who was the last person you danced with: vic kie.
Last made you smile: erm. i don't record the times i smiled.
You last yelled: can't remember.

TODAY DID YOU...

Talk to someone you like: i can't talk because i sound groggy.
Kissed anyone: nope.
Get sick: infected.
Talked to an ex: no ex to talk to.
Miss someone: i kinda miss my mum because she's been relatively nice to me these
days.
Eat: yeah. yucky food i cooked.
Best feeling in the world: i've not felt that yet. so i can't tell you.
Do you sleep with stuffed animals: lyslow is stuffed. but not an animal. its erm. nat
what is it?
What's under your bed: dust perhaps. or somethings i lost.
Who do you really hate : i don't hate human beings.
What time is it now: 2.27 p.m.

RANDOM

Is there a person who is on your mind right now: brains yes. mind no.
Do you have any siblings: you asked right.
Do you want children: yeah.
Do you smile often: i laugh more than i smile.
Do you like your hand-writing: yup. especially my 'a'.
Are your toenails painted: nope. never did i paint.
Whose bed other than yours would you rather sleep in: i embrace hygiene.
What colour shirt are you wearing: white.
What were you doing at 7:00pm yesterday: coughing and having headache.
I can't wait till: i plan my own wedding.
When did you cry last: a long time ago.
Are you a friendly person: what you think?
Do you have any pets: no. allergic to furry stuff.
Where is the person you have feelings for right now?: good feelings or bad feelings?
Did the last person you held hands with mean anything to you now?: duh.
Have you ever crawled through a window?: nope. i will fall flat on my face.
Can you handle the truth?: surely.
Are you too forgiving?: yeah. sometimes for the wrong reason.
Are you closer to your mother or father?: in seasons. mostly mum.
Who was the last person you cried in front of?: i don't actually cry in front of ppl.
How many people can you say you've really loved?: many. i've love to spare. haha.
Do you eat healthy?: nope. unhealthiest eater you'll ever meet.
Do you still have pictures of you & your ex?: no ex to have pic with. hee.
Have you ever cried because of something someone said to you?: yup. and i must not
do it again.
How often do you go to church?: 3 days a week.
If you're having a bad day, who are you most likely to go to?: depends on how long their
attention span is.
Are you loud or quiet most of the time?: most? mm. loud i guess.
Are you confident?: in things i'm sure of.

i finished criminal!!!!!!! *leaps*

time to scrath whatever wits i have left for contract and public.

forlorn \fur-LORN; for-\, adjective:

1. Sad and lonely because deserted, abandoned, or lost.
2. Bereft; forsaken.
3. Wretched or pitiful in appearance or condition.
4. Almost hopeless; desperate.

-forlorn for contract and public-

busyheads

2008-06-23T11:32:00.010+08:00

criminal. public. contract. els. notes. lectures. late nights. mword. pages. books. lexisnexis. lawteacher. assignments. stress faces. words. statements i won't und. sections. acts. the law today.driving test.

all these will be the agenda of july.
be up for it!!

vic kie, you know you still have reasons to smile. :)

sometimes the snow comes down in june
sometimes the sun goes round the moon
just when i thought the chance has passed
you go on and save the best for last

what's my best for last? *ponders*

okay. study mode calling me in. till then, friend. :)